so i don't know why, but i had the sudden urge to write another entry. so here it goes.

i feel like i'm still stuck in that same position, trying desperately to crawl out of the hole i dug for myself. i can't seem to let go of the past, and i don't know why. i find myself constantly looking at old pictures, reading old emails, even reading old xanga entries. and everytime i read these things, i get sad. i get sad because they're of the past, and i can't enjoy them now, in the present. it's amazing how time goes by, and how your days become memories so fast. carpe diem? i think so.

to add on,
"the little things that count, pt. 2"

1. going to the swapmeet on weekends to find deals because we are too cheap to buy from stores. (ie fake forever 21, $1 headbands)
2. sleepovers with great friends, videochatting with people, eating lots of ramen (way too much for our own good), fitting 5 people on one bed, etc.
3. going to karoke with 2 people.
4. laying outside to look at the sky, or the stars, or whatever for that matter.
5. learning to play pool, even if i need direction in everything that i do.

and to look forward to
1. christmas 2007
2. new years eve with the "three litto pigs"
3. downtown disney at night, again (my favorite!)
4. friends, friends, and more friends.

make every moment count, okay? okay. got it.

my last entry

i swear, it was just yesterday when we came into walnut high school. just yesterday when we came in with textbooks thinking that we would get burried in schoolwork. just yesterday when we didn't have a lunch spot to sit at. just yesterday when we had first period marching band, when we dreamed about the day we'd be graduating, when we were scared of the upperclassmen. but look at us now, we've done it. we've gone through all the drama, all the stay-up-late-to-do-homework (or my lack of staying up) moments, all the sweat, pain, and tears. this is the beginning of it all. no more high school dances, no more "let's take a group picture" at lunch moments, no more dress day, and no more deck-of-cards halloween. but that's okay. we don't need those moments to stay together. the group we have now is amazing. yes, i'm sure it's cliche. but tell me another group that decides to have dress day to dress up for the yearbook senior ad at school. tell me another group that decides to be an entire deck of cards for halloween. tell me another group that takes so many jumping pictures. and even if we aren't close with every person in our group, even if i'm not best friends with some of the people i take pictures with, it doesn't matter. you put our group in one room together, and we're best friends for life. so many people have shaped me during high school. i don't know what i would do without the people i love, without the people that bring so much meaning into life. even through all the "drama" and the "arguments," you guys are the best people i know and ever will know. class of 2007, we are done! congratulations for all your hard work, and today is your day. right now. live life to the fullest. don't wait, and dream big.

goodbye, xanga!

i need to learn to:
1. stick up for my beliefs and not back down
2. expand my narrow little view of mind
3. stop judging others so quickly
4. stop running from my problems
5. make these last four days last

class of 2007, we're nearly done. this is the beginning of it all, so let's show them what we've got.

sometimes, things are a lot better when you don't know about them. sometimes, i feel like pretending to not know, to not care about everything and to live in the moment. but then everything catches up and you realize that maybe you can't always press play in the moments you want to and fast forward those you long wish to forget. maybe it's those moments that make you who you are, and those that define what you've overcome. sometimes you just don't want that though. sometimes you want that fairytale ending, that ideal life that you've always dreamed of. of course, it's not always possible. until then, i can't be defeated. i can't be defeated. i can't be defeated. i just have to ingrain that into my head, or else i might forget.

and of course, thank you for listening to me.

on a last note, i submitted my SIR. i'm going to berkeley.

dances give me the opportunity to finally upload the pictures i have in my camera from about 2 months ago. so, here are some random ones:

disneyland 2007 with band.

girl's splash mountain picture.

we all pretended to be sleeping...minus teddy who's "rockin' out" in the back, hahaha.

tony and i went on a gondola ride in between valentines day and our 6 months. it was really pretty!

inside the boat.

so pretty.

cause i'm good at taking self-pictures. hahah.

SADIES 2007

sadies is always the besttttt, seriously. everyone always ends up going and we always go to BJ's (since sophomore year) and we always have the biggest dominating group picture in the world. it's the best. and of course, this year's theme was so broad that everyone looked so unique! so good. and of courseeeeeee, before sadies we all came to the biggest news in the world: TINA DING GOT INTO CALTECH!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER LEGEND! i'm so proud of her. and in the midst of all the excitement, i find out some other news which i will refrain from stating here. also, my feeble attempts to be "girly" led me to simply battle with my curling iron and burn my face (yes, i have a battle scar from it.) so sad, so sad.

anyways, some pictures:

elsie and i!

mafia pauline with her bright lipstick :)

kchoi and i. he thinks he's cool with his tie (watch out girls, if you wanna go to prom with him, you better get a dress that matches it)!

jane's conservative outfit.

girl's bathroom picture. still can't believe in the midst of all this, i find out that the boys take a bathroom picture to try to beat us. but of course, girls are better, for sureeeee!

tiff, pauline, courtney, and i

homefry picture, duh!

aerobic instructor jenn and i!

patty and i! yay for dogtags!

tiff is sooooooooo cute *_* HAHAHA.

alan decked out with his bandana, safari hat, backpack, binoculars, and jungle music.

couple: jenn and jinfull

HAHAHAHA MY FAVORITE.

couple: tiff and dean

couple: pauline and kchoi

couple: jess and kevin park

some sailors and golfers.

jess almost touched me for the picture, but then realized how gross it would have been.

painter richard and i

classic CJ. love the wells fargo background, haha.

we busted out the golf clubs in the midst of the photo frenzy. haha

girls picture.

boys picture.

AND LAST, because i always do this to him:
MY DATE, TONY LEE:

THANK YOU, for a wonderful sadies and for 7 months! yay! and for never "falling asleep" on me, and for giving me flowers and picture frames, and for understanding my 10 minutes of dancing and 25 minute breaks, and for pretending to eat slower when i share food with you, and for visiting me for random reasons, and for everything and anything else!